Vacationator: Long-overdue-edition!

So I was at the Bluegrass Festival in Dunmore East in Waterford for the weekend. Hence, no SYSLU.












So here's an owl to make up for it.

Stuff you should look up: You'd think I'd have gotten the hang of this by now . . .

 . . . 


I got nothin'.


 . . . 


Seriously, stop looking.


 . . . 


Nothing to see here


 . . . 


*whistles*


 . . . 


*Looks around nervously*


 . . . 


*Does a little dance*


 . . . 


WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME???!?!!!


-kshhhht-


Please hold, we are experiencing minor technical difficulties.


We now return to our regularly scheduled brainfart.


-kshhhht-
 . . . 
- Webcomics
--Shit which be funny


1) Massive Pwnage

2) Hejibits 

3) Doghouse Diaries

4) XKCD

5) Penny Arcade

Stuff you should look up: Ix-nay on the less-useay!

Isn't "Emo" supposed to be short for "Emotional"?


I'm just sayin'


Most of the people who call themselves "Emo" are the most boring, depressing bastards I've ever met.


Srsly. Why do I think about these things?


 . . . 


Pictures
-Wallpapers
--Ones in my wallpaper cycler
1)

2)

3)

4)

5)

6)

7)

8)

9)

10)

 . . . 


That's all. Now go and dfall asleepon yur keybraod or soemmenjnjkjnjkkjkjkkkkk

Stuff you should look up: Does anyone actually care or am I pandering to an audience who left long ago? Or (gasp) maybe you never existed in the first place! (Dun! Dun! Duuuuuunnn!)

I know what I'll do this week! 
Cover songs!
I haven't done that in-


(looks through archives)


 . . . oh. . . well thank god for tags. . . 


Fuckit. I have no original ideas anymore.


 . . .


1. Mad World - Gary Jules (originally by Tears For Fears)



2. Free Fallin - John Mayer (orig. Tom Petty)



3. Lee DeWyze - Beautiful Day (orig. U2)



4. I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston (orig. Dolly Parton)



5. Black Betty - RamJam (orig. John and Alan Lomax, 1933)



. . .


That's all. Now go mad or something. . . 

Stuff you should look up: Where Men are Men and so are most of the Women.

Going to cycle into town yesterday with friends for the weekly table quiz in the pub.
Suddenly cycled into a solid wall of water.
Took a second to realise this was actually rain when it didn't go away.
Took shelter under a tree, which helped for the first 10 minutes, then stopped helping. 
We sorta figured it'd only be a short shower but the weather gods were like DURR HURR NOPE. YOU'RE GONNA BE THERE A WHILE YOU LITTLE NON-WATERPROOF BUTTMUNCHES.
Now thoroughly soaked, we cycled back to the house as fast as we could. 
We cycled 200m before it stopped raining. Turns out we had managed to find the most  localised tropical rainstorm ever. 
We could have been sitting underneath a giant funnel and not have gotten so wet.
And of course Mr. Rain is all DERP DERP DERP GOTCHA NUMNUTS! NOW IMMA GO FLOAT PROMISINGLY OVER SOME AFRICAN COUNTRY BEFORE DISAPPEARING COS THAT'S JUST THE SORT OF WANKBAG I AM! DOODEDODEDO!


Funny thing was I was getting ready to fly home the next day.
And the airline service had a 1-bag policy.
So I had had to send all by clothes home in a big box via the post office.
Just. Earlier. That. Day.


And now the only clothes I had for 2 days were soaked.
Fucking. Joy.
. . .


Video
-Cool


1) Ransom by LRR

2) Jumping on a Giant Water Balloon by The Slo Mo Guys



3) Water Balloon to the Face by Discovery Channel



4)The Devil's Advocate Speech in kinetic typography



5) Bootleg Fireworks: Subtitled Version

 . . . 
There. Now go do something that isn't wasting your time watching ridiculous internet videos all day . . . 

Stuff you should look up: Herping the Derp all night long.

This is a Longan. Also known as a Lungan. Also known as DRAGON'S EYES.

 . . . 
That's right. Motherfucking
DRAGON'S EYES.


And no, there is no other way to type that. It's one of those things that's engrained in the male psyche.


It's an exotic fruit used in china. It's flesh is very sweet and I highly recommend buying a few if you have the chance.


You bite it slightly to break the skin, and then the skin slides off, and then you bite into it and 


BOOM! FUCK! WHAT THE HELL?

 Why? Why the hell would you not tell me that there is a massive, fuckoff seed in the middle of the goddamn fruit, friend-of-a-friend who offered this to me? 
This has turned a perfectly good taste-bud massage into a veritable sense-of-taste clusterbomb of hate.


I really hate it when fruit pulls a sucker punch on you like that. 


So here's some others I can bitch about!


-Fruit
---Sneaky motherfuckers

2) Peach 
Yeah, that's right. I'm calling you out on this you delicious seductress. You ever tried to do the thing where you cut it on the halfway mark and then try to twist it apart? 
I can't.
Fucker just leaves my hands looking like I tried to finger-paint with rotten fish mush. Ruins one of my favourite fruits.

3) Bananas in fruit salad


What the fuck? I see you there, trying to hide. Trying to turn that wonderful, sharp-tasting dessert into mushy, bland inedibility. Don't you da- I SAID DON'T YOU DARE DISINTEGRATE INTO PASTY, GROSS SYRU-oh fuck. Too late.

4) Prunes that haven't been de-seeded. 


Fuck you. 
Just.
Fuck.
You.
 - signed, My Teeth.

5) When Oranges Spit You In The Eyes When You Try And Peel Them, The Devious, Malevolent Asshats.


When Or-oh. Kinda let the title speak for itself there.


 . . . 


Th-Th-Th-Th-The-The-Th-That's all folks! 
Now go watch X-Men or something. . . 

Stuff You Should Look Up: Martial Arts and Crafts!

Soooooo yeah . . . 

Feel free to link this site to your friends.

Y'know, if you think it's cool or anything.

Not that you have to.

I'm just sayin' is all.

'Cos I think it's good.

But then, I would say that, wouldn't I.

'Cos it's mine.

But if, I dunno, you told some friends or something.

It'd make me happy, anyway.

If that's what you're looking for.

But if it isn't.

Well that's cool too.

Please don't leave me alone.

When I'm alone, I kick puppies.

All the puppies.

THINK OF THE PUPPIES.

 . . . 

Images

-Long Distance Trolling

1)

2)

3)

4)

5)

 . . . 

Finito. Go do nothing for the day or something . . .

Stuff you should look up: Y U No Think Of Good Title Idea, Brain?

Musicians lie!
You cannot play on broken strings, James Morrison!
The instrument cannot make any noise, and as such can't be considered "playing"!
You so would not walk 1000 miles, The Proclaimers!
All that to fall over on someone's doorstep? How does that prove love?
Diamonds make terrible best friends, Ms. Monroe! They never remember your birthday!
And you are most certainly not an astronaut, Elton John! 


 . . . 


Products
-I New Idea


(all from http://www.inewidea.com/ )


1) Waterfall Soap Saver - Why does everybody not own this? Or own several?



2) Musical Glasses - Calibrated wine glasses for accurate musicalising! You'll be life and soul of the funeral party!



3) The Ostrich Pocket Pillow - For those who have absolutely no fear of having no idea of the pranks their friends and strangers pull while using this absolutely. Ridiculous. Thing.



4) Weird Quilt Covers - It's really just setting up any outside observer for disappointment. It must also be kinda annoying after the initial joke has worn off. It's be a bit awkward pegging it up on the washing line, too.



5) Hair Brush For Bald Men - Not actually a joke. More of a head polisher, really. Costs $12. It takes a special kind of mind to come up with something like this. Like, "Special Ed" type of special.



 . . . 
That's all guys. Go polish your wonderfully pristine, shiny, glowing scalp or something , , ,

Stuff you should look up: Because my ego needs scratching.

Stuff you should look up: 
The Golden Rolex watch of the internet 


(after it's been dropped on the floor one too many times. 
Or fifty. 
Plus the strap is broken.
And it had a dead battery.
And all the shiny bits have been scratched off.
And there's this weird smell from the last dumpster it was pulled from bec- 
y'know, never mind.)
 . . . 
Music
-Games
--LittleBigPlanet 2 (because that's what I'm playing right now)


1) A Fifth Of Beethoven



2) Batteroo



3) Disco Shmisco



4) What Are You Waiting For?



5) Rock Your Body Rock (Freddy Corsten)



 . . .








Bonus Round!!!
SleepyHead



That's It. Now Go And Make Some Really Annying Typos And Formatting Errors Or Someings . . .

Stuff you should look up: How I met your Brutha-From-Anutha-Mutha.

I just woke up after a night of drinking.


It's 3 in the fucking afternoon.


3.


In.


The.


Fucking.


Afternoon.


This is why I don't like going out every night of my weekends. You have to spend the entire day recovering from what you do in the night.


 . . .


Music
-Videogames
--Classic


1) Dr. Wily Stage - Mega Man 2



2) Overworld Theme - Super Mario Bros. 2



3) Main Theme - The Legend of Zelda



4) Bloody Tears - Castlevania



5) Main Theme - Metal Gear Solid 2



. . .
That's all. Now go and actually get something done today or something . . .

Stuff you should look up: With Great Power comes Great Responsibility . . . and Great Voltage and/or Ampage.

I would bet a large amount of money that Yoga was invented by a man. 


Just sayin'.


Think about it.


 . . . 


Pictures
   -Glennz.com


This website has some serious talent behind it. Try the laptop skins!


1) False Alarm

2) Sharpened



3) For Dummies



4) Extreme Beginnings



5) Priorities



6) Chameleon



7) Called For Help



 . . . 
That's all for today. Now go have a day-long lie-in or something . . . 

Stuff you should look up: Where the sky's the limit, but the ground's the average.

If you lose half your large intestine to an injury, does that mean you only have a " ; " ?


 . . .


Video Series
   -Internet
        -Comedy


1) News Dump
Yes another by the guys at loadingreadyrun.com. This just started and may not be around for long, but I still think the dynamic of the group is fantastic in everything they do.



2) The Big Picture with Moviebob
A critical look at pop culture and specific topics, mostly movies, games and comics, from a well-balanced standpoint.



3) Escape To the Movies with Moviebob
A great movie review show. I don't always agree with him, but he makes some very valid points.



4) After Hours from Cracked.com

Why Everyone Wants to Have Sex with Vampires -- powered by Cracked.com

5) Retold! Series by frostyobsitnic



Suggestions for topics always welcome!


 . . . 
Aaand I'm out. Go get a doner kebab or something. . . 

Stuff you should look up: Seven-Pack Edition!

This:

 . . . just . . . 

 . . . .this.

 . . . 

Articles

    -cracked.com

1) 12 Things You'll Wish You'd Never Seen Under a Microscope

2) 5 Bad Ideas Humanity Is Sticking With Out of Habit

3) The 10 Best Animated Movies for (Traumatizing) Kids

4) 5 Things They Never Told Us

5) The 4 Most Irresponsible Sex Advice Books of All Time

 . . . 

That's your lot. Now go and learn something or something . . . 

Stuff you should look up: Thou Shalt Not Kill. Unless, Like, He Really, Really Deserves It.

I really don't have thyme to make any oreganol ideas for the opening sentence this week. Basilcly I have no sage advice I cayenne give you so chili out already.
If you're minterested in why, it's because chive got to go soon. I'm really hungcurry and we're going out for a meal cinnamoment.


Not that you can tell over the internet.


 . . . 
 Music
  -Covers


As always, if you type "listento" before "youtube" in the address bar on the video's YouTube page, it'll take you straight to a download link.


1) Creep - Radiohead - Scala and Kolacny Brothers



2) The Legend Of Zelda Theme - Koji Kondo - The Boston Symphony Orchestra



3) Fireflies - Owl City - chrinFinity



4) Jesu, Joy Of Man's Desiring - Johann Sebastian Bach - A Small Wooden Ball



5) Aerodynamic - Daft Punk - Tom Hodge



 . . . 
Tha's all nah bros. Nah go'n' git suhm sleep ohr suhmthin . . . 

Stuff you should look up: Stop Russian everywhere, Putin!

Do clown cars have crash tests?


How many dummies do they use?


 . . .


Great Trailers
    -Video games


1) Portal 2: Panels (starring the dad from "Juno")



2) Gears Of War: Mad World



3) Team Fortress 2: Meet the Soldier



4) Bioshock



5) God Of War 3



 . . .




Bonus!!!1







 . . . .
That's a wrap, people! Now go for a swim or something . . .

Stuff you should look up: If I could pull off the "poncho" look without looking homeless, I would.

Just call me the Fun-Wrecking Master of Puppets.


Or Fu-recking Master-Puppet for short.


Or Fu'cking M'uppet for shorter.


 . . .


Videos
  -Awesome Advertising


1) Rolling Ball Plays Bach.



2) Golden Pages Hairdresser



3) The Italian Football Training Camp



4) Old Spice - All of them. Seriously. Go through all of them. I know you've seen them, but some of the shorter ones are just as briliant.



5) Walk On The Wild Side (More of a preview of a tv program but sure feckit. It's my blog.)



. . .






BONUS ROUND! (note: not actually a real ad)





. . .
Right. Finito. Go get paid or something. . .

Stuff you should look up: 24 hours isn't enough. We need at least 30 to get anything useful done!

If the Queens of the Stone Age and Kings of Leon formed some kind of super-group. . . .


 . . . what would they call it?


Monarchy of the Leon Stone Age?
Stone-Leon Kingdom?
Leone Age Autocracy?


and more importantly


Would they give birth to Prince?


 . . .


Music
   -Covers


1) Your Song - Ellie Goulding



2) Hallelujah - Jack L



3) No Woman No Cry - The Fugees



4) Umbrella - All Time Low



5) Layla - John Fahey

As always, if you type "listento" before "youtube" in the address bar on the video's YouTube page, it'll take you straight to a download link.

. . .
That's a wrap for now, all. Now go to the gym or something . . .