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How to write a "How to write a "How to Book""

What to write about, what to type about . . . "Are video games art?" Nah. That's been done to death in the last few weeks . . . "The way to write a successful blog is to build up a relationship with your readers" . . . uh, yeah, I'll deal with that when I actually find someone who reads it.
Ah, here's one: "Just think yourself happy! Load of Bollux!"
Has anyone read "The Secret"? For those sensible enough to answer "no" to the previous question, the book can be summarised thusly: Wish hard enough and it will come true. I shit you not, that is it. It convinces you that literally the key to anything is inside that little underused web of porn and near-homicidal boredom you call a mind.
This epic dirge of self-help commercialism gone mad was reminded to me by an article only the other day, which raised some interesting points: namely that it's a load of crap.
Apparently, the writer's friend had had to reread the book several times to try and relive the initial high the book supposedly gives you upon finishing it. But, like ponze schemes and heroin, it suffers from "the law of diminishing returns", meaning every time it's read, the results last less and less. The friend complained that she just "counldn't make it stick". And how could she?!?
The point the article writer makes is that the flaw in the books logic of "think like a successful person to be a successful person" is that it leaves something very important out of the equation: R.E.A.L.I.T.Y. Yes, it's fine to dream, dreaming and hoping is healthy and provides determination to push forward. But take your current situation out of the sum and you're left with no focus or direction. Dreaming is fine until it actually starts to screw with your actions negatively, such as can be seen by anyone who truly believes that the world really does owe them true love and a fancy car.
It's like a point made here, where the writer shows how unrealistic the world has become, how we're all so expectant that the world is going to fall into our laps. I dread to think what my generation is going to be like, being raised to think that "each one of us is extwa, extwa speshull".
Hm. That's really all I can think to say. I know I'll have some brilliant witty comment to add in 2-3 hours, as does happen, but I always forget to write it down. Feckit.
Now go play a music instrument or something.
'Sup, readers. So now that I'm home from college for the summer, updating this becomes pretty difficult. Mainly for motivational reasons. Plus I just feel like hiding everything I'm doing from my family for no particular reason other than I'm a prick like that sometimes. Does that happen often? I know that thats pretty much the only consistent trend among every teenager ever. These morons "rebelling" against their "oppressive" parents. Yeah, sure, you rebel by wearing black and never talking to them. Then you go home to the bed that -they- bought you, eat the food -they- made you, and you say you're being "stifled"?!?
If you ever hear a teenager actually say the words "nobody understands me", punch them. Like, full force. Right in the face. Because there is nothing to understand. They are confused and horny. Thats it. QED muthafuckas.
But screwit. I can only really recognise this in myself, but still, if someone disagrees, they are either lying or are so well-balanced that they can only be lab subjects on some sort of teen-psychology experiment to create the most perfect 13-20 year old. A being who always invites their parents to sporting events they inevitibly win. A creature so perfect and beautiful that they will be so universally despised that they will die by being sucked into some kind of hatred singularity. Probably right after winning a Nobel Peace Prize and Big Brother Competition on the same day they marry a millionaire supermodel scientist.
This is probably the first time the sketch actually reflects the post. Looking through the sketchbook, probably the only time. Unless I can somehow make a post on emo-style wizard of oz characters. Still, here's to hoping.

Writers breeze block

And now we have stumbled upon a new problem: What if I want to update (so that I give the impression of a current-affairs kinda guy), but I find that I'm unable to think of a topic? That's the situation I find myself in.
Also, I have sketches done, but I'm not arsed taking the photo, then brightening it up in photoshop blah blah blah, so here I am posting a pic that has absolutely no real elements, bar the panoramic image in the backround that came with the program, and was made in 3 seperate programs. The team was fairly proud of it. But, its not a sketch, so next time, definitely be prepared. . . and maybe actually follow an update schedule or something.
It's so much easier to type than think. The reason I want to update is because I'm moving back home for the summer (which is a lot less grandiose than that sentence makes it sound) and I'm practically the only one left on campus. It's dark, lonely, quiet, and I really want to have a job for the summer that doesn't involve sheep.
But I know that most people would kill for a job that means they can work outdoors in the fresh air, so I really shouldn't take it for granted, so I suppose I should make some kind of a promise not to piss away the next few months like I always do. Kind of like a New Years Resolution, except that this is realistic, or Lent, except people won't laugh when you tell them about it. (Making a promise to be healthy in January of all times? At that stage, people are mostly dreading going back to work/education, staring into the abyss where their bank account used to be, or gorging on the New Year's eve leftovers - which, ironically, are mostly Christmas leftovers)
Hey, look at that: a blog post all about how I can't think of anything to write a blog post about. How typically fucking convoluted of me.
I need some sleep.

Always avoid annoying alliteration.

Ok, so step 1: short blog post. Check. Good. Step 2: get a decent camera. . . not so check.
So after a brief traipse (is that even a word?) around some blogs, it seems the most successful offer thoughtful, well-balanced opinions or galleries of pictures. Well, I'm halfway there, anyway.
I've been hit with the realisation that the last paragraph completely goes against my aim of not doing this for anyone but myself, but being who I am, the least I can do is try to make someone else happy. The whole reason anyone would even visit this page would be if I can offer something to the viewer. So what can I offer?
Thoughtful insights are, believe me, few and far between when dealing with the inside of my head, so thats out.
Galleries of images take time, research and effort to put together, and I'm distinctly short on at least two of those qualities (take a guess which).
Or do I make some kind of diary blog that journals my rollercoaster of an existance, such as This was just in the "Blogs of Note section of the dashboard, and if you read it you should find the quaint rural point of view of life that so often goes unnoticed on the internet todaOHMYGODITSSOFUCKINGBORING! PEOPLE FOLLOW THIS CRUD?!?
I came to Limerick to get away from shittacular farm life, but avoiding the general dickhead mentality that I've seen in Dublin. That should just about show you how riveting my everyday life is. Not. Very. My life is to excitement what discussion of the Yang-Mills Theory is to sex. They do not overlap.
If you actually want to read about how my exams went today, or why I think that this person you've never heard of, nor will ever meet, is such a great character, or why I enjoy my life, specifically, to make you feel worse about yours, you need your fucking head examined.
Aw, crap. Another long, unreadable blog post. But, hey, if you skipped straight to this bit, congrats, you're mostly normal.
Now go draw a picture or something.

Spellchek? Never herd of it.

I've been thinking. . . What is it I really want out of this blog? I mean I've already passed the big 1 post mark with this entry, and frankly, I can see why most people give up so quickly.
I suppose I must be doing this purely for myself? I mean I hope to god no one reads this, but I know thats not true. Putting up my sketches is a good way to keep my hand occupied, but I spend so stupidly long on them that that can't last, or I'll just have to skip out on pics every now and again.
I said "that's not true" back there because I do hope someone reads this. Just a funnier, more mentally stimulating version of this.
So am I doing this for an outlet? for recognition? I doubt its that since a quick scan of a few random blogs will tell you that there's a lot of serious talent out there who post up all their stuff to their blogs.
Is it competitiveness? A desire to show that I can do anything as good as the rest of them? Probably, but I hope not.
So then where do I want this blog to go? I'd settle for something that I find entertaining to read, and where I can put stuff I'v done on the internet that isn't facebook (I don't know why, but It feels cheap).
So I think I'll make a few guidelines I'm gonna try and follow for my blog entries. Stop me if I start getting too far up my own ass. (Seriously. Please stop me. It might not be too late already)
1: No proofreading. Only for spelling and gross oversights.
2: Attach at least 1 pic of my own creation at least every 3rd post.
3: Don't go a week without posting.
4: Don't give a rat's left one about whether it's being read at all.
5: Don't post links to it on facebook.
6: Actually, scratch that last one, just don't advertise in general.
7: Attach some kind of inspirational quote or some shit at the bottom? Will I do that? Sure why the fuck not. Do I need some kind of "explicit" tag or something here for the amount of times i'm gonna be swearing?
8: Grammer.
9: Don't be bitchy about people. It kind of has a habit of having actual consequences, unlike just about everything else on the internet. Plus it's mean.
10: Try not to change previous posts if possible.
11: Find a format to be happy with, but don't treat it as iron-clad. Need room to breath.
12: As an add-on to #11, just generally be happy with it.
I'd like to say right now that I can see the links on other pages about "how to write a better blog nyahnyahnyah". And I say I don't want to write a better blog, I want to write my blog.
It's the same problem as with videogame walkthroughs: "Do you want to play the game, or do you want to read about someone who plays the game better than you?
Dear jaysus, how long is this thing at this stage?
. . .
13: Shorter posts.


Wow. Uh. Ummmmm. Oh boy. So is this blogging? This is, yaknow, an actual blog? Huh. So I guess I just type down my thoughts here, do I? Hm. Ok. Sure, why not. . . .
How do people do this, anyway? I mean I get the whole concept of just throwing yourself out there for the masses at little or no personal risk of retribution, but to stand out above another in pure blogability? To gain "followers"? To reach out and gain the attention and approval of a complete stranger?
Actually, now that I just read that back, it almost sounds weird not to give it a shot.
Will anybody even read this, anyway? I know I sometimes go back right to the very first post in some of my webcomics (and they do, for the most part, suck for the first while), but thats just me. I mean who really wants to know why I started this in the first place (for the record, it was Donna McKenny at ).
So here it is. My first post. Baring all to the masses. Probably in a way that is deemed illegal in several countries.
. . .
Maybe I should post some pics too. Might get me to keep up my sketching.