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Stuff you should look up: Back for revenge, with a vengeful vengance!

On this weeks Syslu!
Life changing secrets are uncovered!
Deadly betrayals plotted!
Uncontrollable lusts ravaged!
Fantastical worlds discoved!
Some guy makes a list!
Amazing new developments save countless lives!
And at least one of the things previously mentioned actually happens!

All this and more (kind of), coming up . . .
 . . .
 . . . right now!

Flash games 
  -My favourites

1) Ice Breaker. Puzzle. You are an omnipotent viking god. You must save your clan. They are trapped in ice. You can break the ice. Go figure.

2) Grow. It's . . . it's just . . . bizarre? Hypnotic? Mindless? Brilliant? All of the above.

(I recommend the walkthrough after you give it a few tries)

3)Infectionator 2. "The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." The preceding quote in a nutshell. You turn the world into zombies. Also, Micheal Jackson zombies, Ronald McDonald zombies, etc., etc., etc. . . .

4) Canabalt. For those who are just window shopping through these with no time, give this a shot. It's fast, you'll give it that much. 

5) Achievement Unlocked. From the excellent mind of game maker jmtb02. For those who know about "Achievements" on the XBox 360, this game is a fantastic parody of the fleeting and empty sense of accomplishment they give.

 . . . 
That's yer lot for this week. Now go find an awesome new desktop wallpaper or something. . . 

More stick-shakers than you can shake a stick at!

Wow! I have over 50 friends online in facebook chat at the moment! That must be a record for the number of potentially life-changing conversations ignored at once!
 . . . 
Don't you just hate it when you think you have your brilliant, enjoyable life all figured out, then someone comes along and ruins it by rubbing their stable, loving relationship in your face?
 . . . 
What's the furthest thing you have planned right now? Go!
What it is in all probability a holiday next year, or a new job/course or, best case scenario, wedding or some such celebration. What it is definitely is no more than a year away. Guaranteed. If it is, you should probably go bungee jumping or something, man, because anyone who's got that sort of planning capacity is headed straight for a Schwarzenegger-sized stress-induced heart attack. (As opposed to a Schwarzenegger-induced heart attack which normally happens by way of excess high velocity lead in the body)
Humans simply do not have the capacity to comprehend large numbers. It's the same device that stops us from realising €499 is just as bad as €500! Marketers long ago realised that people still only see the "4" in 499. Hence why we still put up with that .99c crap. One year to us is just a massive amount of time that cannot be scheduled with any real intent. Of course, that changes when we reach retirement age, since a year seems so much smaller then than when we're, like, 20. 
Why then, do I keep being annoyed by people saying I should be creating ideas for my Fourth Year Project?
 . . . 
Yes, I get that it comes from experience that we should have a contingency plan for our FYP. Yes, I understand that I will, in time, come to regret the decision to ignore you. But there is literally nothing different about your year that will change my year's mind. There is no big change that will suddenly cause us to heed every word you say, in the same way that you didn't heed the previous years, as they didn't heed and so on and so forth. 
 . . . 
(/end whiny, bitchy mood swing)
 . . .
So with that in mind, can you please see that I'm trying to do the job that's in front of me, like I have done for the last few decades? Can you please let me enjoy the now, rather than draw my eyeline to the biblical-grade storm gathering on the horizon? I mean, whatever happened to enjoying your day to day life? 
 . . .
Speaking of my day to day life, someone in my college course recently decided that it was, quote, a load of balls, but since I'm in too deep now I may as well try and salvage a degree out of it.", end quote. That right there is something that really made me sad to hear, and if those words ever pass my lips, please sew the traitorous fuckers right up, cos I want nothing to do with a body that says ridiculous things like that. (by which I mean more ridiculous than usual.).
Where would I rather be?
In an engineering course, where maths act like a maid with a vacuum, sucking up the fun, dark dingy corners of existence, and shining a light in places once thought impenetrable, capping it all off by slapping a number and measurement on it?
In a pure art course, where nothing is true and nothing is false, and anything is a lie and everything is subjective, which robs any standardised grading system of any purpose, and its students of any meaningful direction? What good is creativity if your going to look at the finished product? At least interior designers have that going for them.
Nah, I'm perfectly alright where I am thanks. And if you want to angrily bluff your way through the rest of the next one and a half years of your life, then good for you. I plan on enjoying mine and being awesome while I'm at it.
 . . . 
Thats all I can think of right now. Now go and be awesome for a while.

Stuff you should look up: Now 33% more regular than before!

If I had a euro for every time i thought about you, I would have exactly . . . zero euro. Mainly because I have no idea who "you" are. Seriously, I have no clue who reads this. According to the stats meter, I have a regular viewer somewhere in Russia. How crazy is that? That has Stumbleupon written allll over it.

 . . . 

WokkaChokaWokkaChokaWokkaChokaWokkaChokaWokkaChokaWokkaChoka . . . Bing!
And today's topic is: 

  ----- Updated Daily

1) Sinfest - Going for almost 10 years and still funny. Charts the adventures of two everyday people living their lives between a sarcastic puppeteer God, a wealthy, successful but unfulfilled Devil and everyone in between.

2) Surviving the world - They say those who can't write, draw, and those who can't draw, photograph, and those who can still make it funny, are awesome.

3) Bug Comic - Short, snappy, instantly recognisable. Also, all the characters are bugs.

4) Cyanide and Happiness - Frankly, if you haven't heard of this yet, where have you been? NSFW language, ideas, or jokes. Meaning it's hilarious.

5) Questionable Content - High quality art style makes this a pleasure to read!

 . . . 
6) Microsoft Paint Adventures - For those with truly a massive amount of time to spare: A comic that goes in the direction the readers tell it to via the forums. Sometimes up to 5 new panels a day. I recommend reading through this previous adventure to get a taste. Warning!: Mindfuck ahead!

 . . . 
That's all folks! Now go and shoot that wascawwy wabbit ow something . . .

Stuff you should look up: The unnecessary sequel!

What shall I post today then?
If you have any suggestions, then shout them out . . .
 . . . 
 . . . 
No? Nothing? Fine. Try this:

Procrastination websites:

1) Mendel's Soup: One of the best in the Soup image blogging meta-site. Just don't mind the polish posts. (And try and scroll all the way to the bottom. I dare ya!)

2) Coolvibe: THE place to go for inspiration or a new desktop backround.

3) I New Idea: Where I go for ideas. Theres potential products here that will make you kick yourself in the face for not thinking of them sooner.

4) Sporcle: Quizzes with excellent layout and content to suit all tastes and knowledge.

5) Cracked: 3 new articles every day. The regular columnists are fantastic!

 . . . 


6) The Onion: The finest up-to-date news site on the web. They recently reported that the entire country of Mexico was killed in a gangland battle, and literally tens of americans going to the polls this week, despite the increasing danger of actually being responsible for electing someone into a position of power.
 . . . 
That's it, now go and smile at nothing like an idiot. And enjoy it . . .

Increase font size by one: Increase pagecount by three. Repeat until requirement reached.

Do they do crash tests on clown cars? if they do, how many dummies can they fit in it?
 . . .
Has anyone ever stopped to think of just how much horseshit they have to wade through just to do some simple stuff these days? I swear to god that the ultimate heat death of the human race will not be all explodey and filled with cool lighting effects like Hollywood seems to think, but will come on the end of an inked rubber stamp.
 The permission slip to burn the last tree, the law legalising personal nuclear armaments, the law that says big brother can legally return to TV for another fifty fucking seasons. I have seen the future, people! It's filled with "reality" TV and automated sandwiches!
 . . .
So I just found that when I put "tired" into my phone's predictive text, it gives me the suggestion "three-way", confirming that I am the saddest man in the world, due to the fact that even my phone is telling me to get a social life. Although a friend argued that it wasn't hinting at a social life, just at a sex life. Gee, thanks.
Alternatively, the phone may be have achieved sentience, and has celebrated it by doing what all self-aware beings do: try to get laid immediately, constantly, and occasionally, vigorously.
I have also found that my phone's dictionary does not contain the word "penis". Don't ask how I found out. Now, seriously. It has the word Wikipedia in it for fecks sake. It's a medical term, look it up. Wait, you shouldn't have to, you're a DICTIONARY for crying out loud.
 . . .
Blueprint for every regular facebook chat conversation ever:


laughter + smiley face
misspelling. . . smiley face
expletive. . . smiley face

humorous observation

 . . . the only alternative I'm aware of is the one that goes thusly.

overly chummy greeting . . . smiley face

reply with mildly threatening undertone

admission of request for help with assignment

polite refusal
cave in and give bare minimum of facts

Thanks profusely

exits conversation and attempts self-lobotomy using nearest brick wall
 . . . 
I can't think of anything else. That's your lot for now.
Now go and bake a cake or something. . .

Stuff you should look up: The awkward beginning!

OK, so there's no pic this time. But that's ok, because there's no words either. This seems like a nice thing to try as a regular feature. So here goes:

Heres some stuff which may not be the best out there, but it's stuff that I like. Things that were recommended by friends or that I discovered for myself. I highly recommend them.


1) River flows In You by Yiruma

2) Clair De Lune composed by Debussy

3) The Heart Asks Pleasure First (a.k.a. The Promise) by Micheal Nyman

4) To Zanarkand by Nobuo Uematsu (from the playstation 2 game Final Fantasy 10)

5) Dearly Beloved by Yoko Shimamura (from the playstation 2 game Kingdom Hearts 2)

6) Auto Rock by Mogwai

. . . 
If a fly stops flying, is it called a walk?
 . . . 
EDIT: Actually went back and linked the damn videos. Derp. :P

Ouch! My sense of entitlement!

The following is a broadcast for all product designers out there, along with anyone else who cares enough to listen:
I don't have much to say here. Only a few words that may echo true the more I try and explain them even to myself. Those words are thus:
Quit. Your fucking. Bitching.
 . . .
Let's just wait a moment while you get all riled up before I tell you to sit your overused asses straight back down again like Cher Lloyd just asked for a standing ovation.
We recently got some bad results. Next week, for the first we are all going to get together to collectively attempt to raise our grade by arguing we have had too little time to spread between the various projects and essays we have been given. That's bullshit, and you know it. 
 . . .
I know that at least one of you reads this blog, but I am putting this down here and you may do with it what you wish. I would of course, like to raise my grades. You know how I'd like to do that? By working. Fucking. Harder. By doing better work. By doing some work full stop. Ever think of that, you guys?
 . . . 
In case you haven't noticed, our class kinda sucks (bar those one or two obsessive people who are in every class). I am not talking about myself here. I have many, many weaknesses. I have very little creativity skills or lateral thinking. Most of the stuff i do is "research" from other sources. The only reason I was able to get this far in the course is my drawing skills, (which, might I add, I fucking try hard at!) and my ability to say "Y'know what I like? Not having all these project deadlines heading for me like a raging bull with a steam train rammed up its arse and nothing done for any of them."
 . . .
It's 3rd year, and It's only now (NOW!?!) that we're learning how to actually work on stuff. College is not a holiday. I realise that some of you have jobs, very busy ones, and in some cases, two. But we have studio space for a reason. We have about four hours every day of dedicated design time for a reason.
 . . .
So what do I think we could do instead? Well, lets take a look at ourselves. We don't use the space given, we don't work in the prearranged time, and we ignore those employed to help. Guess what's the constant in all those questions?
 . . . 
My argument is this: We. Have no. Fucking. Passion. 
 . . . 
 . . . 
OK, so that was a few too many exclamation marks, but you get my meaning. When was the last time any of us were actually excited about anything in our course? Yes, we have been doing much of the same since first year, but we have come along so much since then! We can make marketing boards, advertising campaigns, 3d models, Photoshop renders when not a single one of us owns photoshop legally! Why do we keep complaining when they ask us to get our asses in gear and put out some fucking rough models and sketches? At this stage, That should be the easiest thing in the world!
 . . .
So I implore you again. Quit. Yer bitching.
 . . . 
If you want those grades so much, why did you just sit back when the morning-before deadline came along and spent the entire night gettin all up in my grill about what we should be doing? Is this what people are like in every course in the country? I fucking hope not.
 . . . 
So the next time we are given a fairly easy run-of-the-mill electronics project (like the laptop remote) how about you use all that experience you have to do a good job instead of complain that they never give us interesting ones? And when they DO (the paper and rock project) how about you do what you can instead of complain that they never give us any easy, sensible ones?
 . . . 
Hate me if you want. By all means do, as It will only drive me more to surpass anyone I can. But I think I'm pretty right about this. They were ridiculous to cap 3/4 of the class at a C1 on attendance without telling them, and for that, we have the right to give them a verbal brickbat to the nuts. I also agree that Lenny O'Sullivan can go die in a fire fueled by all those writing assignments he gave us. But know what? They were still doable! But if the debate descends into a shouting match, I am so gone. I'll be gone faster than if Ricky Gervais had walked into the room and I had left the shotgun at home.
 . . .
"If you can't win by reason, go for volume." Think of your goddamn reasons, guys. Exercise a bit of humility, and take responsibility where its frickin due, alright?
Ugh. I think that's all. If you made it this far, There's a super special surprise easter egg here.
 . . .
(and here)
Now go and leave a comment on how wrong I am or something . . .#
 . . . EDIT:
Ok, so having slept on it and being advised to breath every once in a while, I wanna make my position clearer. I'm gonna leave the original post the way it is. However:
I'm trying to make the point that at some point we need to recognise the freedom we have here. We have the freedom to do what we want in college, and we have the freedom to get good grades and get great experience, but the absolute freedom that overrules all others is The Freedom To Take The Consequences. Both lecturer and student are partially at fault here, and we need to recognise that. 
Didn't mean to make it so shouty is all.