Well hellloooooooo again. And thank you for joining us for another edition of Warped and Extravagant Idiot Rites Down Obvious stuff.
The acronym still needs work.
. . .
Time for another (read: I'm to lazy to do anything that isn't a)
(see post I did a while ago for the definition.)
Reverse Cowboys and Anal-iens
Captain (south) America: The Fist Avenger
Hairy Pooner and the Breastly Hallows Part XXII
Crazy, Stupid, Sex.
Friends with Benefi-Whaddya mean that's what the movie's called already?
Uhh . . .
Friends with More Befefits? Like really, really weird Benefits. Butt Stuff Benefits.
Transgenders: Dark of the (Full) Moon
Zookeeper('s Gone Wild, Extended Edition with Directors Commentary)
Midnight in Paris (Wait, isn't this a porn movie already???)
Winny The Pooh-lover.
(I hate myself so much right now. Like you have no idea how much I want to punch myself in the balls for that last sentence.)
. . .
I witnessed something horrible yesterday. So absolutely soul-scarring I couldn't bring myself to type about it. But one fitful, restless, sleepless night convinced me I have to let it out of my system.
Punch and Judy Shows are the spawn of Satan.
Not in any small, puppets-are-really-freaky, kinda way, either. This is the proper stuff of nightmares.
The standard Punch and Judy Show plys out like this:
Mr. Punch (we're already off to a great start with that kind of name. It gets worse.)
Punch is left in charge of the baby.
Angry with the crying, he hits it off the floor til it "goes to sleep".
Judy comes to see whats going on and (understandably) attacks him.
Mr. Punch then beats her to death with a stick.
(Jesus! Is this a kids show or a gritty horror movie?)
Throwing the two bodies out the window attracts a passing policeman.
The rest of it is just Punch outwitting a crocodile, policeman, clown, and doctor (whom he proceeds to kick the everloving shit of while he's being examined).
He eventually escapes from prison, but in the earlier versions, he outwits the hangman by convincing him to put his own head in the noose.
All the while, screaming his catchphrase maniacally "ThAt's ThE wAy To DoO IIt!!!!"
And we show kids this? No wonder we're all morally bankrupt.
(One quick wikipedia later)
This shit has been performed since 1662?!? What the shit, people??!?!
. . .
That's all. Now go make a non-late blog post or something. . .