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Who needs a gym when you have friends who get you up early on sunday to go cycling. By that same logic, who needs enemies?

To Everyone In Secondary School: I give you my wealth of experience in what to expect from whatever subjects you chose.
Maybe "wealth" is the wrong word for it, though.

History: The most interesting people you will never meet have their lives, hopes, dreams and motivations explained in the most boring way imaginable.

Art: Creative = popular. You knew that, right? Well, tough. Everyone here is a creative genius except you!

English: I dont even. Its just, like. Bluh. Y'kno? Spellin an shakspeer an shit. Who de fuck wants dat?

French: If you'r good at it, you won't need it. If you want to be good at it, you will need it, but your other grades will suffer as you desperately study your ass off for it. If you don't want anything to do with it, then you'll just be put in the bottom 5-8 classes with all the best teachers the other students actually want.

Agricultural Science: Needs to be renamed "Boggeraphy".

Business: Fuck. This. This is how the world works? Nuke us all and start over from amoebas.

Physics: You either get it or you don't. Unfortunately theres still no diplomatic immunity from the laws of gravity.

Biology: Sex. That's the only reason anyone ever does this subject. It also manages to make an awesome topic like this so trivial and mind-numbing you might as well be looking at the assembly instructions of an Ikea cabinet.

Chemistry: I didn't do this subject. . . . I assume there's a distinct lack of skin-melting and cancer-curing, though.

Computer Studies: The most unnecessary subject, in a world where we can use iTunes to learn what "alphabetical order" is, since Not Suffocating On Your Own Tongue 101.

Music: Seriously? This has no real-world applications, unless you're already some kind of Hans Zimmer wonderkid. And even then, you're probably doing composing in your spare time so you don't need this.

Geography: One years worth of information, tops. Biggest. Waste. Of Fucking. Time.

Social and Polical Studies: I stand corrected. This makes geography look like astrophysics.

 . . . 

"Is it that time again?" I hear you ask?

I answer: "Fuck if I know!"
So here's some more smileys what I done made up there now.

BJ : Cool "smirking" smiley w/ shades (Warning: May be misinterpreted!)

T_T : Crying smiley

: /    : I'm bored. Whaddya wanna do?

: \   : I dunno, whaddyou wanna do?

$_$  : Business opportunity! (a.k.a. "The Ka-Ching!")

:M    : Hungry Baby Bird

£_£  : Business opportunity (British Edition)

€_€  : Business opportunity (European edition)

B     : )

 B    : )

  B   : )

   B  : )

    B : )

     B: )

      B )     : Deal with it! (YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!)

 . . . 

This is the bit where I make an uninformed, biased opinion on something which doesn't really affect me in any way.
Then I get angry over said issue for reasons which will evade me during the proofread.
Then I make a vague generalisation backed up only by my own limited, near-sighted experience, trying to make me look like a deep-seated thinker, when it really only makes me look like a thirteen year old emo with a myspace blog.
Then I make it into a dick joke.

 . . . 

Then I finish up with a quote robbed from a philoseraptor picture.

 . . . 
There. Finito. Done. Kaput. Go rob a bank or something. Maybe a blood bank . . .


Fredrick said...

I'm still waiting on the dick joke!

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