LOL: Lynch Our Language!

This was going to be titled "Lynch Our Larynxes" but it turns out the plural of larynx is Larynges. So fuck that.
Aaargh! I haven't updated at all this month! Its a fucking travesty to the world of underwhelming, rarely updating blogs, The main reason is that I've no pictures of sketches to put with it, and the other 478 reasons are all to do with how I'm too god damn lazy. I really need to make this an every 2-week affair at the very least, Y'know, because apparently people actually read this crap. And I'm probably goin to need to start a new blog for my FYP. So woop-de-fucking-horray for me.
I suppose I should get around to the title topic. Picture this, you've just found the funniest video on Youtube. Your sides have required major reconstructive surgury in order to sew them back up. Your life has been changed by the effortless ease with which the message was conveyed. You're thinking of starting a religeon based on its iconography. You show it to your friend, the only one you love enough to show it to first, and his response is: 
"Heh. LOL!"
. . . 
Eh. Excuse me. But. Umm. Well. . . you see. . . What. The Fucking. Fuck. Was That.
. . . 
No. Don't answer. Do not skull-fuck the empty eye socket of the beautiful language you just brutally murdered any more. "LOL". Seriously? As in "Laugh Out Loud"-type LOL? Uless there is some other meaning of LOL that I'm presently unaware of. 
"Lots Of Love", perhaps? "Dear Sam. Sorry to hear about the accident. LOL" Somehow, I doubt it.
"Lump On Linoleum" for all those times that DIY issues absolutely have to get their own abbreviations.
"Liberate Our Leucocytes". Ok, now I'm just getting fucking ridiculous.
As the more attentive readers may have garnered from the post so far, I have a little problem with this newfound aspect to our language. Now I do try to be as liberal as I can be in my life, with all the Live-And-Let-Live and all that. But I do reserve the right to transform into a cantankerous aule bollocks when I see the purpose to.
The purpose currently is that there is no. point. to this phrase. The word means "laugh out loud". Here's an idea: if you actually think it's funny, Then Fucking Laugh and dont waste my time with this "I wish to express my enjoyment of this through the medium of laughter, but without any of the effort or semblance of emotion associated" bullshit.
It wouldn't be so bad, but I was having a chat with my cousin a while back, and when wishing to make known his displeasure at the news of our stolen car, said, and I quote: "Aww. Sad face." I was so overcome by shock at the grammar nazi inside me having an aneurysm (or possibly ejaculation, it's hard to tell), that I almost forgot to hit him.
We need to stop this trend now before it goes too far. How long before we'll be saying things like "Kthnxbai" or "ASL" or "NOOBfag" in everyday conversation? Has it already happened?
So, in conclusion, dog's tongue's Loll. They do not LOL. End. Of. Story. QED. 
. . . 
"QED"? Aw, fuck. Now look. It's contagious.
That's it, now go change the bedsheets or something.
 . . . 
Ooh, ooh, I've just though of another one: "Life Of Luxury"??!?! Ok, I'll stop now.