On things involving cake and the distinct lack thereof . . .

Stop me if I'm wrong here . . .
But it feels like I've hit this weird point where the two most terrifying words you could say to me in succession are "party" and "birthday". And not necessarily in that order.
Am I alone in thinking that birthdays might be the most depressing celebration after funerals and valentines day? And funerals don't even really qualify as "celebrations".
But with birthdays it's all "another year older, another year wiser" and unbelievable bullshit like that, when all you're really thinking is "another year older. . . count yourself lucky you got this far, bucko. You think it's bad now? just wait till you have to pay Income Tax!"
The needless pressure from other people about what you're going to spend it. Why do I have to "spend" this time in particular? Personally, I'd rather just waste it like I do all the other hours in the day.
Do I really have to rejoice in the miracle that is my ability to exist for a predetermined length of time? My main gripe is that I've done nothing to warrent this celebration, so it feels like I'm cheating at the game of life or something (On a related note, this is the same feeling I get whenever I pass "Go" in Monopoly). I try to live without handouts so that I can get by by at least pretending to have some redeemable qualities, then every year this sudden wave of expectency comes crashing down at the very end of the school year, and I'm frankly, at my most bored, irritated and I'm easier to rub up the wrong way than a sociopathic porcupine with a skin condition sitting in a patch of stinging nettles with a sign saying "free hugs" above its head.
. . . Wow, that analogy got away from me awfully fast . . .
So no, I don't care for birthdays when there really is a bajillion better reasons to enjoy yourself for a day every year (And there is literally nothing I can think of off hand that horrifies me more than a rented hotel bar with a dance floor, with balloons, tiny sandwiches and a shit DJ).
. . .
And if I'm wrong, then tell me why.
. . .
"Sometimes people put up barriers just to see who cares enough to break them down"