Aw man! I can't believe it's an entire day late! How many loyal fans have I crushingly dissappointed by my absence!
(checks pageview counter)
. . . none. . . maybe one or two. . .
I can't tell if I'm depressed or relieved.
I'll go with deprieved. I am very deprieved right now.
Mainly because "repressed" is already taken.
Maybe I'm just irritated and dispondant.
Irrispondant? I guess I'm feeling a little irrispondant right now.
Or maybe I'm just feeling repressed and incapable.
That would make me . . .
. . .
Actually, no. I'm not repressed and incapable
. . .
And now for something completely different:
Music Reviews!
If some 25-year-old raging dickweed with an Arts Degree can do it, so can I!
Coldplay:
"Like listening to wallpaper." I cannot take credit for that quote. I also can't promote it enough. It's just perfect.
You can have nice wallpaper, though.
Dragonforce:
Listening feels like a workout at the gym. Difficult, requiring concentration, and generally only for the dedicated. You can work up a bit of a sweat, too.
Owl City:
He obviously wakes up every morning, writes down whatever happened in his crazy-ass dreams, and uses them as lyrics. Listening is like having pink cotton wool stuffed in your ears.
Linkin Park:
Like listening to the colour black. And all the boring sameyness that goes with a single colour. Can be used as hormone therapy to counteract the effects of chronic outbursts of "joy".
Daft Punk:
Sounds like the noise a computer would make if it could orgasm. A sexy-lady-type computer, too. Not one of those horrible fat windows '95 things.
Ke$ha:
@@%^%$$£$££$"gjkleGEG%&*((!!{};;];GKHHKAAAAAAASAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
. . .
Finally, in a segment you've all come to recognise as shameless phoning-it-in . . .
Crappy Names! The Third And Final Chapteruntilwemakeanotheronetocashin.
Joe Mama
Auntie Semytick
Auntie Semyte
Beattie "Bea" Oich
Ivan Ichisak
Moe Ronn
Minnie Hooters
Hans Jobb
Jess Innma-Pans
Aiden Abettin
. . .
Fuck. That's it. I'm all out. Go through the suggestions page of your YouTube homepage until you find an awesome new band or something . . .
1 comments:
I cried alot on the inside ;_;
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