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(The picture this week is of a shapeshifter lost in the woods. Its for a group project thing I've joined on DeviantArt. Because shut up, it's my blog and it's awesome.)
 . . . 
Are you befuddled and transfused with all the new linguistical terms being thrown around on the fast-moving world of the internet in recent daytimes? Well be craniaddled no more friendio! 
The good people person at Extrapolated Cynicism is here to "help"!
(We I am required by law to place inverted commas around the word "help" when used in this context. This is after what we I shall refer to only as "The Dyslexic Tnuc Incident".) 
We I have compiled a brief "Internetspeak 101" list to "help" you comprestand the leetnoobs of the current degeneration!


Blography: The school subject of studying and writing in a digital media format.
Points are awarded on the basis of Creativity, Speed, Amount, Design, Premise, and Popularity. 
The ability to actually write anything compelling or even legible is purely optional.


Count Blogula: a mythical figurein the food critic world of blogging. Famous for dark, edgy, biting restaurant reviews, he only types in the dead of night. Legend has it that clicking any links containing the words "Holy", "Garlic", or "Steak" can cause him to write a rash, raw, screaming blog post that can cause you to faint, and cause you to become helpless but to convert to his way of thinking.


Bloggerrific: A positive adjective used to describe something that is: A) Worthy of a blog post of at least 1000 words, or B) A blog post that causes such eclectic delight in the reader that it causes a minor anuerysm that results in at least three "lol"s (or four if you're using the imperial system). or C) Cats.


Blogological Attachment: The unnatural need a writer has to update their blog on a regular basis, even if they have no material to update with.


Anablogic Steroids: Any substance used to create enormous blog posts with no real clue of what they're doing. E.g. Twelve photos of the same cat in the same position. 


Inblogniac: A blogger who posts all day, every day, often erratically and with a shakey grip on reality, with no discernable breaks for sleep.


Blog Me A River (shortened to BMAR): When a blog post is nothing more then a useless, crybaby dissertation on a subject little or no people care about.


Blognostic: A person who is open to the idea of blogging, but will not start until they have been given valid reason, motivation, encouragement, and a few hard kicks up the arse for good measure.
 . . . 
This concludishes our my exposaction to "help" you in your advenships into the Blogosphere. 


Good Blarg!
 . . . 
That's all the dillywagging marksplanation for now. Go and read some Esperanto or somestuff . . . 

Stuff you should look up: Marginally better than a slap in the face with a dead fish! Guaranteed!

Deck the halls with boughs of holly,          (Why? Holly fuckin' hurts! Get it out of my  

Fa la la la la, la la la la.                                           house. I'm gonna be drunk later!)

Tis the season to be jolly,                (Is Falala meant to be the sound jolly people make?

Fa la la la la, la la la la.                                       Because it sounds more 

                                                            like a retard who stapled his tongue to his lip)

Don we now our gay apparel,                   ( . . . O_o . . . Like . . . rainbows? . . . )

Fa la la, la la la, la la la. 

Troll the ancient Yule tide carol,            ("Trolling" has a completely different meaning 

Fa la la la la, la la la la.                           these days. It's kinda what I'm already doing.)

See the blazing Yule before us,                 (Sounds like we've just committed arson . . .

Fa la la la la, la la la la. 

Strike the harp and join the chorus.           . . . and we're dancing on the ashes.)

Fa la la la la, la la la la. 

Follow me in merry measure,             (Measure of spirits? Woo! Let's get "merry"!)

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

While I tell of Yule tide treasure,      (Stories of greed in a carol. That's humans for ya.)

Fa la la la la, la la la la. 

Fast away the old year passes,                   (Unlike this song. Dear god, how

Fa la la la la, la la la la.                                 many verses are in this thing?) 

Hail the new, ye lads and lasses,                  (Insert Scottish accent here.)

Fa la la la la, la la la la. 

Sing we joyous, all together,            (Not me. My voice was fecked around verse 47)

Fa la la la la, la la la la. 

Heedless of the wind and weather,   (That's another thing, why are we outside singin-

Fa la la la la, la la la la.                              (Shut up already!)

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Blogs
   -My favourites


1) Magatha-May - Frankly this list would not be complete without a shout-out to a friend who first introduced me to the idea of blogging. More personal than facebook, more public than a diary. Plus you can put videos in the posts.
http://magatha-may.blogspot.com/


2) Project 366 Things - A Limerick man embarks on an epic quest to perform 366 things that he has never done before within the space of one year and one day. Unfortunately seems to have fallen quite far behind his target, but a fascinating effort nonetheless.
http://theproject366things.blogspot.com/


3) Tunasauce - The target. The blog I have neither the epic sense of humour nor the gargantuan gonads to become. I will still try, though!
http://tunadesire.blogspot.com/


4) Sexy Videogameland - The blog of accomplished video game journalist Leigh Alexander.
http://sexyvideogameland.blogspot.com/


5) Liquids Must Be Presented In A Clear Plastic Bag - Another shout-out to a good friend who really should update more :P . He used to work in an airport, to explain the title.
http://jononfire.blogspot.com/


 . . . 
There's also a site that gives free piano sheet music, which I think is pretty awesome, but I don't think anyone else really gives a crap.
That's it. Go do one of Project 366 Things' posts or something . . .

English majors: Putting the "g" in "gnome", the "p" in "pneumatic" and the "b" in "subtle" since time immemorial.

Herro again. I was just thinking about how I could do something worthwhile for the literary world. Maybe by posting a thought-provoking dissertation on the internet.
Then I thought "No. Fuck that. Lets update this blog instead."
The fact that our souls are getting crushed under the weight of the work we've been given is really been depressing me. And when I get depressed I get angry. Not the Hulk-out kind of angry, the kind of angry that generates an anti-social field around my general area and causes 80% of the world's supply of not-giving-a-fuck and no-I-don't-feel-like-doing-another-assignment-for-ergonomics-go-die-in-a-fire.
I still haven't managed to pin down what exactly I want to use this blog for. I know I don't want it to be a rant blog, because god knows there's enough of them out there. They say "stick to what you know", whoever the hell "they" are. "They" should get their goddamn noses out of my business unless "they" want them cut off and served in a kind of creme du nez.
And I know video games, but a lot of people who read this probably dont give a monkey's left one unless I've got something really profound to say. I also know food. But not really from the talking-about-it point of view. If I'm talking in relation to food, chances are it's because my mouth is full.
Should it be an everything-is-wonderful-here's-a-picture-of-a-kitty blog?
 . . . 
No.
Dammit. I promise the next post I make will be more structured. It'll have an introduction and everything! The issue is that there's no structure in them. Just like theres less structure in my life than there used to be. Oppertunities just seem to pass me by without me even realising it, I'm finding it hard to work because I just sit at a desk and complain about how hard the work I'm not doing is, and lecturers seem to just throw all sorts of shit at me just to see what sticks. The obvious problem with that is, if you throw enough shit at a wall, yes, some of it will stick, but in the end, all that you're left with is a wall covered in shit. And a cleaning bill.
. . . 
There, that's your lot. Now go and make a healthy sandwich with soda bread or something. . .