Musicians lie!
You cannot play on broken strings, James Morrison!
The instrument cannot make any noise, and as such can't be considered "playing"!
You so would not walk 1000 miles, The Proclaimers!
All that to fall over on someone's doorstep? How does that prove love?
Diamonds make terrible best friends, Ms. Monroe! They never remember your birthday!
And you are most certainly not an astronaut, Elton John!
. . .
Products
-I New Idea
(all from http://www.inewidea.com/ )
1) Waterfall Soap Saver - Why does everybody not own this? Or own several?
2) Musical Glasses - Calibrated wine glasses for accurate musicalising! You'll be life and soul of the funeral party!
3) The Ostrich Pocket Pillow - For those who have absolutely no fear of having no idea of the pranks their friends and strangers pull while using this absolutely. Ridiculous. Thing.
4) Weird Quilt Covers - It's really just setting up any outside observer for disappointment. It must also be kinda annoying after the initial joke has worn off. It's be a bit awkward pegging it up on the washing line, too.
5) Hair Brush For Bald Men - Not actually a joke. More of a head polisher, really. Costs $12. It takes a special kind of mind to come up with something like this. Like, "Special Ed" type of special.
. . .
That's all guys. Go polish your wonderfully pristine, shiny, glowing scalp or something , , ,
Will Leave This Trilogy Where It Is
7 months ago
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