Stuff you should look up: Featuring all your favourite letters! From A all the way through to K!

And now: 
Ladies and gentlemen,
For your viewing pleasure,
the man who needs no introduction . . . .
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Websites
  -Design


1) Deviantart
The big one. You need to trudge through a wasteland of crappy sketches and cartoon porn to get to anything worthwhile. Like this person.

2) Coolvibe
I've linked it before, and I'll link it again. When you want a new desktop wallpaper, you come here. (that would be the most confusing sentence ever to a non-computer-literate person)

3) The Design Inspiration
This is a new one I've found. Some serious talent here, ppl.

4) Adb- . . . Abbadi- . . . . Azb- . . . Something dot com.
It's just got some cool graphic design stuff, K?

5) I New Idea
I'm sure I've linked this one before too. Got the weirdest sense of deja vu. Anyway, heres a wesite that chronicles all those ideas that will make you kick yourself for not thinking of them first.

 . . . 
That's finito for this session.
Now go make some pillows for your feet or something . . . 

A favourite blog of blind people everywhere!

I go to nightclubs. 
I'm not proud of it, but I confess, sometimes the mood just takes me to go to a badly ventialted room with needy young people to play repeated, ear-bleedingly loud music with strangers to awkwardly learn how to not-dance. All while paying rediculous amounts of money for weak alcohol so I can get sufficiently shitfaced enough to fool myself into thinking that it's not all bad. 
I suppose it's pretty hilarious in it's own way. And that in itself is kind of depressing.
 . . . 
Screw it. Here's the type of people who make it worth it. Just for the shits and giggles.
 . . . 
The Leaner (The Buttress / The Handsinthepockets / Get the fuck out of my way!)


Thoughts: Holy Shit, you guys! Are the walls structurally sound in this building? I better sacrifice the best part of my night for the sole purpose of creating an impromptu buttress against this load-bearing vertical face. No! Go on without me. I'll be alright. Perhaps if I cross my legs, put one hand in one pocket, hold my drink with the other, and never take a sip, I'll create optimum leverage. This will make me sooo popular.

Pictured: What will not be happening to this person tonight.

The Raver (Glo-prick / The Animal / The Stripper / Get the fuck out!)


(Read complete with inappropriately emphasised words.)
WOAHYEAH! This is gonna be the greatest party EVAR and NOONE'S gonna stop me from GETTIN' the ROIDE tonight! Get mah glowsticks, everyones gonna LOOVE when I shower them with these babies! It'll be JUST like that one time in Ibiza which was under totally different set-up, environment, and circumstances, but WHO gives a FUCK, right? WOAH! Hey, FUCK you bouncer, whatyamean get out? (Runs. Get's tackled. Get's dragged out.)

What they see . . . 

 . . . What's really happening.

The Stumbler (The human Leaner / The Drunkie / The Splasher / Get the fuck off me!)


Aaayerchysocuuuute. . . . (waits for the next carraige in their train of thought to arrive) . . . . . dammmmnthatgrroopofpeepleshawt. . . . . . . . Imgonnagetinnonnthat . . . . . . . WOOOoooahhjeesuswhoolefttthatsteppthere? . . . . . . whyyysevvryonnepushhinmeeaway? . . . . . wooooahh . . . . . .ihavvvadrink! . . . . .'Salmostemptytho. . . . . iwassureitwasfulljustasec. . . . . . . whyamiallwet? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Why am I outsid-OHGODTHEPAIN!

OH GOD! WHY DOES IT HURT TO THINK?

The Screamer (a.k.a. The Flailer / Get the fuck down!)


Thoughts: None, really, but they will try to dictate them as they occur.
For example: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHOHMYGOWDISTHIS"GALWAYGIRL"ILOVETHISSONGCOSI'MFROMGALWAYSOIT'SABOUTMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Repeated every time the song is played)

Can you imagine this poor guy's pain?

The Normal (The Nondescript / Trying to get The Fuck.)


Thoughts: Why am I here? Everyone's having a better time than me. My drink better still be where I left it. Is it? Yeah, it is. Oh wow, someone I don't immediately know is in our little dance circle! They're pretty cute t- aaand now they have they're back turned to me like a snowplough in reverse. Get the fuck out of my way. Oh fuck this for a game of hackeysack. I'm gonna go get my drin- where the fuck is it? Ooohhhwhyamiherehyamiherehyamiherehyamiherehyamihere. Fuckin Stumblers stealin my pint again.


 . . . 
That's all I have to say right now. Go join an RPing club or something. . . then look up what RPing is. . . 

Stuff you should look up: All the newsmanship and unbiased, objective analysis you'd expect from a Fox News report!

If the devil is in the detail, does that mean God is just some weird, enormous, cosmic smudge?

Websites

   -The Cheezburger Network

Ben Huh is responsible for Lolcats.

I have seen the face of the destroyer. 

It is adorably misspelled.

That's all I can really say about it without going into pages upon pages of rants.

Nonetheless, the terrifying monster that is the lolcat meme has spawned some inbred, mutant children which, if you squint a bit and don't look too closely at, almost become bearable. They are as follows:

1) Very Demotivational

Take a picture, put it into a black background, add a half joke. Funny more often than not.

2) FailBlog

Probably bigger than the original lolcat site at this stage. If there's one thing that makes the human race emotionally and spiritually richer, it's laughing at other people's misfortune.

3) Daily Squee

Because it's my blog. I get to say what goes up here. 

4) FailBook

Once again the results of mankinds obsession with instant worldwide sharing of every single thought are, occasionally, worth it.

5) Totally Looks Like

The home of the "what . . . who's that guy? Ohhhhh. Shit. Wait. I know this. He's from that thing. No, not that. The other. Um. Thingy. Programme. Or film. I forget. A fuckit. To the IMDB!

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C'est fini! Maintenant, allez et étude un nouvelle langue . . . 

And on the eighth day, God created 4chan. And He did look upon what He hath wrought and saw that He really done fucked up this time.

Craaaaaaap! It's the Day Of Wedd-Ness. The day that precedes the Day Of Thurs, but follows almost immediately follows St. Ues' Day!


I need to make some shit up. Fast.


 . . . 


I got nothing.


So instead, I'll just stick with my current idea on my other blog.


The people and culture of Holland.


They have no 1 or 2 cent coins over here. They round to the nearest 5c.
Sorry if I just kinda burst out with that, but it had to be said. These guys are smart. The whole country gives the mpression of constantly being run by men in grey pinstripe suits. But not the kind of suits back in Ireland. That country gives the impression of being run by guys in suits who are either in a boardroom meeting constantly thinking about what option would make their share prices go through the roof like an coal miner with a really bad sense of direction. 
Holland country is run by men in suits who all refer to their subordinates by first name, and go bowling with a team at the weekends.


Buses run on time. To the minute. It costs €3 for an all-day ticket. Three, count it, muthafuckin Euros. That's actually crazy.


They obey all the rules of the road over here. Do you know all the rules of the road? These guys sure as fuck do. Its kinda cool. Cyclists have right of way in a lot of cases which just don't happen elsewhere. You feel weirdly confident when you're sitting in the saddle. And in a way that is totally not as gay as that sounded.


From the looks of it crime is really low. It's probably just the area I'm in, but I've heard my co-workers saying they normally buy some cheap booze, cycle into the city centre (no mean feat!) Then cycle home when the bars shut at 4 in the morning. I have to keep pinching myself to remind me that you're not in Kansas college anymore, Dorothy Craig. I mean me. I mean. Fuck it.


My new job mainly consists of me sitting at my laptop at my desk, trying to get the whole "self-motivation" thing going. Its a work in progress. 


 . . . 
Right. That's all for this episode. Tune in next week, when we show you how Craig finally found out his house had a garage! (5 days after he moved in.)
Now go for a cycle or something . . .

Stuff you should look up: Now featuring the answer to the meaning of life!

I dare you to press F13 and see what happens!
 . . . go on, I'll wait . . .
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Webcomics
  - Updated Weekly


1) VG Cats - Ok, so this site hasn't been updated for a loooooong time. But he's much better at updating his other comic Super Effective. Hilarious for those who, like me, spent the better part of the late 1990's stuffing monsters which spat in the face of Darwin's "evolution" into comically undersized spheres.



2) Looking For Group - A webcomic that deserves to be read from the beginning. The artist, Lar DeSouza, is simply brilliant. For evidence of said brilliance, simply look here!

3) The Punchline Is Machismo - Lots of both video game and movie references in this one.

4) Sequential Art - An ongoing story. A feirce funny read!

5) Basic Instructions - A complete guide on how to live your life.

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Please don't tell the respective owners that I used it without permission . . . 

If anyone does have any problems with this horrific and flagrant teabagging of copyright law, don't hesitate to get in touch.

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C'est fini!

It's not Rocket Science. . . it's just regular-style science.

Believe it or not, The Irish, having an island-bound cultural evolution, never really "got" the metric system. Recent attempts have been made in the name of EU law in trying to get Ireland into step with the rest of civilisation, but, like economic stability, and attractiveness, there are some things which the Irish mindset is just not suited for. The Imperial system was adopted in places just so the English Bastards, Scots Cunts, and Welsh Sheepshaggers would be able to converse with us, and many felt comfortable with it, in the knowledge that it made no God Damn Sense. It was as if the Irish had invented it themselves.
But here at Extrapolated Cynicism, we believe in fostering amiable international relations with all them weirdo foreigner-types thanks to our boundless sense of responsibility and a court order.
So to help any students of the Irish culture out there, here is a quick translation of the
System of Handy Irish Totals Evaluation. (The acronym is pending restructuring)
 . . .
Fuck-all.                                     Less than 0.1
A smidgin.                                   Between 0.1 and 0.5
A bit.                                          Between 0.5 and 1
A handful.                                   Between 1 and 5
A fair bit.                                    Between 5 and 10
A good bit.                                 Between 10 and 20
A fair amoun'.                             Between 20 and 50
A good amoun'.                          Between 50 and 100
A heap.                                       Between 100 and 500
A load.                                        Between 500 and 1000
A tun.                                          Between 1000 and 10,000
A shitload.                                   Between 10,000 and 100,000
A shit-ton.                                   Between 100,000 and 1,000,000
Loads.                                         Between 1,000,000 and 2,000,000
Tons.                                           Between 2,000,000 and 10,000,000
Jaysus.                                         Between 10,000,000 and 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
Jaysus! 'Tis comin towards us!!!    More than that last number.^


They can be further quantified with the suffix:
-of tings
-of yolks
-of wans
-of dem tings
-of dem yolks
-of dem wans
 . . .
Did anyone ever tell you that "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." and "The Alphabet Song" have the same music?
 . . .
More phrases that make no sense to me:
"Having your cake and eating it" - What the fuck is the point in having a cake if you're not going to eat it exactly?
"A Bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." - What? For a start, based on experience, I don't want any birds in my hand because I know the little fucker's just gonna shit everywhere.
"A penny saved is a penny earned." - No. A penny worked for is a penny "earned". Earning and saving are mutually exclusive. You have to earn before you can save. Besides, money is made for spending. A more accurate phrase would be: "A penny worked for, and which shall be of some value in the foreseeable future, with an idealised but as yet undesignated purpose in mind, and is not immediately exchanged for goods or services, is a penny both earned and saved."
"A problem shared is a problem halved." - No. Frankly,a problem shared is a problem doubled.
 . . . 
Be sure to check out this shit right here. I'ma be all up in this biotch fo' reals yo fo' like, eight months. 
This is gonna be my new blog. I'm gonna try and keep this one updated with no delays, but frankly this could be overstretching myself. Still. Here's to hoping! 
See ya on the flip side, B!
 . . . 
That's it. Go write an email or something. . .

Stuff you should look up: Now with more bleuuughrghhhuurghling!

So I got back from a little holiday today, and feel pretty shitty from jetlag.
I have a new ps3 but no controller or games.
I leave again in a week for my first real job.
My laptop keeps flipping the tripswitch to the house.
A bottle of raspberry liquer broke in my bag from some overzealous baggage handlers.
I am waaaay behind on blogging and sketching and forgot to write down any ideas I had.
Yet I have absolutely no right to be unhappy with my situation, since each of those sentences was already the product of a massivey fortuitous life I find myself in.
 . . .
The "Big Picture" sucks is what I'm saying.
 . . .


YouTube
 -My Subscriptions


Each of these guys deserves you to look at a few of their videos.


1) Auto-Tune The News (a.k.a. Schmoyoho)
Talented, talented people. A good idea made great.



2) EpicMealTime
Epic doesn't even do it justice. It needs a new word to describe it which somehow dwarfs "epic". I'm thinking "Blarflargian!"



3) BeardyMan
This guy is just too awesome for words. Plus, he has a degree in Product Design!



4) OverClocked Remix
I already made a post with these songs in it. Still think it's great, though!



5) Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series.
For any nerds who may read this. The rest of you, don't bother. It's . . . uh . . . nerd-humour. Numour.



 . . .
That's it for now. Go read the paper or something. . .